Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Mum

I am getting older of that there is no doubt. No worry about that, no pretence, but an undeniable fact.

I,of course am a Mum and most days my own Mum comes to mind. She died nine years ago. Maybe I see her favourite colour,sometimes her favourite food. A smell or taste. Sometimes it's the time of year. A special time we shared. Easter is always like this for me. A nostalgic time a time full of memories .

After Christmas she used to like to get the brochures delivered and she would choose a cottage in Cornwall. A place where we could all go for a week at Easter. Cornwall was her very favourite place and as she lived in Devon all her life she never had far to go! We would pack her car with all the treats for the children, always new pants and socks,pretty hair ribbons and chocolate of course.

I think generational relationships can be blessed, wonderful,enriching and precious. You really do only have one Mum. They also can be intense,tricky,frustrating and downright difficult. You really do only have one Mum. A sum of all the parts that make that relationship. My Mum would see instantly if I was tired,upset or anxious. She also shared my joys with matching happiness. My happiness was her joy too. I miss her voice when I have things to celebrate and I miss her embrace when my heart is heavy.

My thirties were the best time for me with my Mum. She was well, she was still young,fit and active. She felt blessed as I had my children. I will never forget the way we looked at each other as I held my first baby in my arms. I had become a Mum too. I felt that overwhelming unselfish love and devotion for this new little life,our son. The same way she had felt about me.

I will never forget when my little baby would not settle on one of his first nights home from hospital. I was so tired and my Mum crept into the bedroom and took him. She sat in the rocking chair within my sight and as I drifted off to sleep I heard her singing lullabies to him as she had to me. I awoke many hours later feeling refreshed and as I looked across she was looking at me sleeping and she was still rocking but my son was asleep in her arms.

That memory still brings tears to my eyes.

Now, of course like all relationships we had "words," we disagreed, we disappointed each other. We had regrets. Sadly she suffered with bad health and unless you are walking in someone's footsteps it is hard to always feel empathy and compassion. I, was still young and had not yet felt the burden of aches and pains,the mantle that advancing years bring. So, I am sure she would have loved that extra time I could have given her, that extra visit to the same garden centre, that extra conversation about her memories. But we tried our best, Mum and I.

And yesterday I had a friends Mum for lunch. She is 93 and absolutely amazing. We had a lovely time. We picked her up and brought her to our home. We cooked her favourite food and we listened carefully to what she had to say. She read every word of the recent article about my blogging adventures. She marvelled at my latest auspicious blanket. She complimented Andy about his latest DIY project. She declared the food scrummy. And then we took her home.

But what makes her so special is, as she came through the door she was carrying a basket and in that basket was a posy of flowers picked from her garden. The stalks were wrapped in tissue and silver foil.

She showed me that she had chosen buds so that they would last. She had picked sweet paes so they would give us sweet scent. And that scent is filling the room this morning as I sit by them writing.

 

There was a bowl of the sweetest strawberries from her garden. I know the last ripe one will have been added. I bet there is not one for her breakfast this morning.

 

And there was a bunch of organically grown carrots and one leek. Grown from seed by her and all washed and trimmed.

 

 

My Mum used to come with a basket with love tucked inside too!

Gifts of love. Gifts of thoughtfullness. Gifts of kindness. Thank you Thelmum. Thank you for reminding me so much of my Mum. The one Mum I had. But, Thank You most of all for allowing me to still experience the feelings that only such a wonderful woman can give.

 

 

 

15 comments:

  1. Wow, what a wonderful, moving post. And I am overwhelmed by the basket of love your friends Mum brought -and at 93 she is doing wonderful things in her garden x

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  2. Linda, this lovely Post made me so teary. Not in a bad way. I visit a 93 year old lady in a nursing home and she reminds me so much of my Grandmother who passed away 2 years ago. What you describe is the exact same feeling I get about my Grandmother whenever I visit her. I'm so glad you got to have that lovely lunch together, she sounds like an absolute gem! Mel x

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  3. Hey Linda,
    Such beautiful words. I love how honest you are in your reflections. No relationship is perfect, but that does not make them bad. Just complex. And what wonderful goodies your friend's Mum bought to you. A basket of love. My Mum always has treats in her bag when she visits us. My Mum always has treats in her bag when she visits. The boys know it too. And there is always a little something for me!
    Leanne xx

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  4. What a beautiful post, it made me cry, and I have just dropped a tear drop in my mug of tea!
    Julie xxxxxxxx

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  5. Oh Linda, this is so beautiful! I often sing a little song to my kids "No one loves you any better than your M O double M Y, and when you start to cry, She'll make you cheerful, brush each tearful" ... well, the tune that goes with it is pretty lively and fun. But it's so true. Our moms love us the best, and it's a hard thing to part with them. I love the fact that your 93-year old friend is still living on her own and can tend her garden full of beauty and delicious things to eat!! The simple pleasure of receiving this gift from her garden has warmed all our hearts I think. My mom would bring little plants for me, and offer little plants from her garden. I didn't always accept them, and really regret that now that she is gone. Wendy x

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  6. This is a lovely post, Linda. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

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  7. Lovely words, Linda! ;-) xxx

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  8. What a lovely post - the feelings of being nurtured and thought of with love are so precious. xxx

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  9. lovely home grown gifts, so sweet, Heather x

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  10. A beautiful post, Linda, of memories, and cherished moments. My mother has been gone for 12 years now, but there are many memories of her I cherish. What sweet kindness from Thelmum. Carpe diem.

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  11. I love this post, Linda. Such a nice testament to your mom.

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  12. Such an honest and thoughtful post.

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  13. Oh Linda, you have expressed yourself so beautifully, and I am actually in tears!
    Your memories of your darling Mum are so real, honest and caring and now you've been given a special gift where you can spend time with this very graceful 93-year-old who sounds like such a gorgeous lady! My own beautiful Mum passed 9 years ago but today is the 3rd anniversary of my Dad's passing so a lot of raw emotions 'doing their stuff' here!
    Thank you so much for this beautiful and personal sharing my dear! Love, Joy xo

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  14. Your friend sounds like such a lovely lady Linda, I am so glad that you have each other in your lives. I hope that you enjoyed some happy memories of your own Mum. I am just catching up and was glad to read the news of your now auspicious blanket! I hope that William is still doing well and is getting better every day. Hope that you have a good weekend. xx

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  15. Thanks for sharing some of your special relationships with us, Linda. The ups and downs of growing love are both unique and common, and worth pausing to savor. I appreciate your post.

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