Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Acronyms and Infectious diseases!!

"Doctor I'm In Trouble!"
The world seems to be bursting with acronyms. 
I often have to Google things to see what the letters represent.
Well I have decided I have some problems which probably need to be reported to the WHO. No,not the band.
The World Health Organisation!
I have a few personal rules concerning both my,and my family's health. They go a bit like this.

1.A pain, if it is fleeting is best ignored and worked through (Advice from my Grandma, it has served me well) 


2.See if you feel better after a good night's sleep-- The night time fairies often work magic!


3. Try a suitable tablet. We don't take them often ,so it might work.


4. If things don't get better or certainly if they get worse make an appointment with the doctor. Usually this follows one of those worrying searches on the internet where you could have anything from a pimple to goodness knows what!!

Well I am at the point of getting a list ready for a visit to the doctors when we return to the U.K and I think the consultation will go something like this.

    Doctor I think I have--
CCD
Symptoms - I spend far too long on the computer. I have "virtual" friends! I have an on-line diary recording the minutea of my life and it prevents me getting on with important things like housework and ironing!!

Diagnosis -Compulsive Computer Disorder.

Cure - Very common and to be dealt with by self!! 

BHD
Symptoms - An inability to seek information in one place, Random clicking of left index finger. Complete disorientation, Getting lost and unable to find my way back "home." Loss of memory and confusion as to the purpose of my initial foray. Feelings of voyeurism very common and intense. Anxiety that any plagiarism either intentional, or subliminal will incur not only wrath, but legal proceedings.

Diagnosis- Blog Hopping Disease.

Cure - Increasingly common syndrome with no "self help" groups available at the moment

WGD
Symptoms- An obsessive desire to purchase and feel wool. Spending time organising colours.ply and textures. An over riding need to collect patterns and have lists which go on for ever cataloguing projects being undertaken at present, about to be undertaken and to be undertaken in the future.

Diagnosis -Wool Grooming Disorder.

Cure - Men are easily cured if afflicted but it is very rare to find a cure for women who are in the advanced stages of this disease. And from your list of symptoms I would say you are beyond help!

OEHS
SYMPTOMS- Having an overwhelming desire to always have something in my hands usually wool and needles but also,at times I have an uncontrollable urge to do some hooking.Undertaking such activities in strange places. Over anxiousness or feelings of panic when hooking tools are mislaid. A feeling of desolation and worthlessness can be a problem if hands are left unoccupied even for short periods.

Diagnosis- Obsessive Empty Hand Syndrome.

 Cure- No cure documented as yet.

Photographic evidence was required for the purpose of further research and it was easy to provide.

Denying symptoms and secreting evidence!


Wool Grooming





Deep need for hooking activities!


Symptoms of Empty Hand Syndrome!





I think my doctor may want to organise a survey to see exactly how many people are also suffering from these diseases so please feel free to add any symptoms you might suffer from in the comment box provided.



9 comments:

  1. Linda - I think you should just accept that there is NO CURE for these afflictions, and that they will eventually turn you into that wonderful essentially British institution - an eccentric, if slightly bonkers, National Treasure!

    KathyXX

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  2. I think I am suffering from the same dreadful diseases! At least I am in very good company!
    Hope you are enjoying the day in your little corner.
    x

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  3. We should start a group :: OEHS Anonymous. Hi, my name is Amzi, and I've lasted with empty hands for... 2.4 seconds!!!

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  4. I'm sorry Linda, I completely disagree - housework and ironing are NOT important.

    I do, however, seem to suffer some of the disorders you mention - well, all of them actually. However the upside is that we enjoy being the way we are, don't we? Who needs a cure?

    Janet

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  5. Oh golly this is a brilliant post Linda!
    I've been on this computer for three days solid! Uploading squares, writing blogs(2)! emails. Not much time for that hooky feeling though.
    We do enjoy the way we are Puppet Lady!
    We don't really want to change do we?
    Hugs and Love
    Thanks for the comments Linda Suex

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  6. I've popped back because I've just seen your sunshine blanket on MSE Linda its beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous I'm loving the colours really nice. Is this for the orphanage again? I'm going to do you some squares so you have them for when you get back home.
    Really wonderful, well done !
    Hugs and Love Suex

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  7. Yep, I am striken with the same illnesses sadly. I prescribe two knitting needles and a ball of DK for breakfast, followed by an hour surfing (the web!) at lunchtime (well it's close to exercise, right?) and a good dose of hooking after dinner. If symptoms flair up badly you can seek help from a Singer machine to aleviate tension! ;-) Cindy :)

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  8. grr wont let me post with wordpress...
    very funny post! funny how you think you have "it" when you google symptoms!

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    ReplyDelete

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